Who Are You Feeding?

" One evening, an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said, 'My son, the battle is between two wolves inside all of us.'

'One is evil-it is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.'

'the other is good- it is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith.'

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, 'Which wolf wins?'

The old Cherokee simply replied, 'The one you feed.'"

-Cherokee legend (provided by 'Vibe-a-thon by Jeanmarie Paolillo)

October was my battlefield where I could have easily chosen to feed the evil wolf. Upon my arrival home from Bali where I lead a retreat, I set the intention of allowing myself to be a priority. Immediately obstacles were thrown onto my path; a relationship on the verge of ending because my needs were not being seen, a job that did not value my experience or what I offer, and the scare of my own health, to name just a few. 

During the week between my biopsy and receiving the results I meditated and prayed. My mantra was simply "This is NOT my story."

I had a choice. I could feed the wolf that would perpetuate the chaos and suffering or simply not feed it with my reactions.

All of the circumstances that were being presented to me were not my story and I did not want  to play the role in them. No longer would I let myself be pushed aside by myself or by others. If I didn't make myself a priority, no on else would. 

I focused on the lessons learned from each little heartbreak I endured at rapid speed over the last month. Instead of focusing on the feelings of anger, resentment, betrayal, sadness, grief, anxiety, jealousy, fear, self-pity, and oh so much more, I vowed to move in another direction. I allowed self love to enter into my heart which was immediately followed by gratitude, love for others, gentleness, compassion, peace, joy, faith, self-care, and a rush of other positive energies. I fed my good wolf. 

What accompanied the good wolf at to my doorstep was quite an unexpected gift. I began to receive apologies from others that healed places I didn't know were wounded which brought me to a deeper place of my own self-forgiveness. As I fed the good wolf, I also received the nourishment of love and acceptance. 

The tests results came back negative and as I boldly closed doors on aspects of life, then new doors opened seemingly on their own with a new bright light on the other side. Perhaps this is all just luck or perhaps it was truly about who I was feeding in the battlefields of my mind.

I invite you to also boldly choose to feed your good wolf and see the gifts it brings to you...