Happy New Year! It's that time of year again when we give ourselves the opportunity to begin again. What lessons did you learn in 2014 that you can bring with you and move forward into 2015?
New Year's Eve always seems to come with a minor anxiety from the expectation of "where are you going to be when the clock strikes midnight?" Last year's celebration was spent with one of my best friends in her apartment as we danced and laughed ourselves silly into 2014. It was one of my best NYE yet. I had such a feeling of freedom and release after such a horrendous 2013.
This NYE, I secretly wanted a repeat of the last one but I told myself that I should get out and be social. I was fortunate enough to find myself in the company of good friends and a cozy fireplace at a comfortable place that still feels like a home. Just as the countdown began to 2015, my friends disappeared, off to have a quiet moment as a couple. I was left standing in the room with strangers and acquaintances counting in unison to the new year. Although it was very warm and uplifting moment, it quickly passed after the toast and the celebratory first new year kisses were witnessed. I had this overwhelming sense that I had to get the hell out of there and bolt home. So I did. When I walked in the door to my empty apartment I felt just as empty inside. I cried for several minutes asking if 2015 was going to be a year of loneliness, as it was very evident that I was stepping into another year on my own after a year of finding love and losing it again. Then within an instant something shifted inside of me and I dropped the storyline. I got up, put music on and danced myself into a frenzy like I did with my bestie the year before. Spotify was my genius DJ and played all the right rhythms to shake me out of my funk. When I was done, I fell into my bed and slept hard and I dreamt hard too; a night full of vivid dreams after a year or even two of not having many at all. When I woke up in the morning to this new year, I felt wrung out and cleansed. I spent the rest of the day by myself; napping, practicing yoga, meditating, reading, watching a movie, cooking and eating a delicious meal.
The lesson learned here is sometimes we put expectations on ourselves, or worse, allow the stigma of a holiday or other people to put them on us. When all we really need to do is let go of the storyline and enjoy the moment that is presented to us.
Trust what is being given to you. Each experience is a true gift.
I could have very easily stayed out all night and reconnected with my friends, drank too much, and regretted it all with a hangover in the morning. Or worse, ended up at home to wallow in negativity and cry myself to sleep. Instead, after my minor breakdown (or I prefer to call it breakthrough) I got to enjoy "me" the way I was intended to do. That was the best New Year's gift I could have ever given myself and no one else could have done that for me.
As you set New Year's resolutions, intentions, goals be clear in what you really want, drop the storyline of what you think it should look like and trust that the universe will give it to you if you are true to yourself first.
Be well in 2015!!